Sleep training not working after two nights usually means you stopped during the hardest stretch: crying often gets worse on night 2 or 3 before it gets better, so quitting then usually means the plan never got a fair test, not that you did something wrong.
Night 2 of sleep training is very often harder than night 1, because your baby protests harder when the old way of falling asleep stops working, and this short spike in crying is a known part of the process. If you gave up after two nights, the plan was probably cut off just before it had a chance to work, and you can restart it with a few changes.
Below: why plans stall, how long the research says it takes, how to tell a hard night from a reason to stop, and how to restart.
Key Takeaways
Crying often gets worse on night 2 or 3 before it improves. Researchers call this a post-extinction burst.
Most stalls come from inconsistency, schedule problems, illness, a poor method fit or caregivers on different plans.
No study sets a fixed night count. One review says the process can take several nights to weeks.
Pausing on purpose is fine. Restart with one written plan both caregivers follow and a set number of nights.
Stop and call your pediatrician for fever, poor feeding, vomiting, pain-like crying or breathing pauses.
Table of Contents
We Tried Sleep Training and Gave Up After 2 Nights: What Went Wrong?
Quick Answer
Probably nothing you need to feel guilty about. Night 2 is often harder than night 1, not easier. When you stop responding the old way (feeding, rocking or holding until asleep), crying commonly gets worse before it gets better. Researchers call this a post-extinction burst, and a 2016 review in Children by Blunden and colleagues warns that parents who are not told to expect it can easily conclude the plan is “not working.” Stopping on night 2 usually means the plan never got a fair test.
On night 1 your baby is confused and tired. On night 2 your baby tries harder to bring the old routine back: longer, louder crying and more wake-ups. Many parents and pediatric sleep clinicians describe the second or third night as the hardest. Stop right then, and your baby learns that enough crying brings the old routine back, which is why the restart plan below matters more than the method you pick.
Sleep Training Not Working? 5 Reasons It Stalls
Check these five before you blame the method or your baby.
1. Inconsistent responses: one parent goes in and the other does not, or the baby is fed on one waking and not the next. A response that sometimes comes is a reason to keep calling for it.
2. Bedtime is too early or too late: a baby who is not tired yet will protest, and an overtired baby may struggle to settle. Fix timing first; see signs of an overtired baby.
3. Hunger, illness or a medical issue: a baby who is genuinely hungry, sick, teething or uncomfortable is not a candidate for a new sleep plan that week. Snoring with pauses in breathing, gasping or snorting are signs Texas Children’s Hospital links to sleep-disordered breathing: call your pediatrician. If reflux is a question, read reflux and baby sleep and ask your doctor.
4. The method does not fit your baby or your family: if the crying was more than you could tolerate, the fix is often a gentler, graduated approach you can repeat every night, not quitting.
5. Caregivers are not on the same written plan: the plan lives in one parent’s head and the other improvises at 2 a.m. Writing it down often fixes more than switching methods.
Is It Normal for Crying to Get Worse on Night 2 or 3?
Yes, it is a well described pattern. In behavioral terms, sleep training methods such as cry it out are forms of “extinction”: you stop giving the response that used to follow the crying. Blunden, Etherton and Hauck’s 2016 review in Children describes a post-extinction burst as an initial increase in crying before it is extinguished, and notes that parents may be excused for thinking the intervention is not working if nobody warned them.
A burst looks like longer crying than night 1 or the return of wake-ups you thought were gone. It does not look like fever, refusal to feed, vomiting or a cry that sounds like pain; those are reasons to stop (see the end of this guide).
So on night 2, ask “Is this a burst, or is something wrong?” rather than “Is this working?”
Stuck on night two or three?
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How Long Should Sleep Training Take Before It Works?
There is no single number, and anyone who promises “three nights” is guessing. Blunden’s review notes that parents using extinction may have to persist for a period that can be several nights to weeks. Here is what the studies we read actually measured:
Method
What the research tested
Typical time to improvement
When to stop and reassess
Unmodified extinction (cry it out)
Rated a “Standard” (effective) in the 2006 AASM practice parameters (Morgenthaler et al.)
Several nights to weeks (Blunden 2016); no night count is set in the guidelines
Signs of illness, pain or poor feeding; or caregivers cannot stay consistent
Graduated extinction (timed checks, Ferber)
AASM “Guideline” (effective, less certainty). Gradisar 2016 trial, 43 infants aged 6 to 16 months: faster sleep onset and fewer wakes than control
Varies; the trial did not report a night count
Crying escalates every night without any trend, or your baby seems unwell
Extinction with parental presence (chair or camping-out style)
Rated a “Standard” by the 2006 AASM practice parameters
Varies; not well studied as a night count
Your presence clearly keeps your baby more upset; consider a different graduated step
Bedtime fading and positive routines
AASM “Guideline”. Gradisar 2016: faster sleep onset than control, but not fewer night wakes
Varies
Bedtime timing is still off, or night wakings are the main problem
Parent education and support
AASM “Standard” (preventive). Hall 2015 trial: a 2 hour group session plus 4 support calls over 2 weeks, 235 families with babies 6 to 8 months
Severe sleep problems 4% vs 14% at 6 weeks (Hall 2015)
No change after a fair, consistent try: talk to your pediatrician
Pick up, put down
No randomized or controlled trial of its own
Not well studied
Your baby becomes more upset with repeated pick-ups; reassess the fit
How long sleep training methods take. Sources: Morgenthaler 2006, Gradisar 2016, Hall 2015, Blunden 2016. Numbers only where a study reported them.
Pause without guilt, get support, and restart later with a gentler method
Stop or keep going: a decision guide.
Pausing is not failing. If you stop, stop on purpose, rest, and restart with a written plan.
What Actually Changed on Night 1: Your Baby’s Starting Point
It helps to see what you were asking your baby to change. In Betteroo’s State of Parent and Baby Sleep 2026 (October edition), a survey of 83,901 parents who came to Betteroo for sleep help, only 10% of babies fell asleep independently, and 65% of parents fed their baby to sleep. It is not a random sample, but it shows that falling asleep while feeding or being held is the norm.
That is the skill sleep training teaches: falling asleep in the crib without the feeding or rocking that used to end the day. Gentler approaches spread the change over more steps, and our guide to gentle sleep training shows how.
How to Restart Sleep Training After You Stopped
Fix what went wrong the first time, in this order:
Rule out illness first: wait until your baby is well, feeding normally and not in pain.
Fix the schedule: settle on a consistent bedtime and nap rhythm that fits your baby’s age before you change how they fall asleep.
Pick ONE method both caregivers agree on: choose the one you can both repeat every night. If the first plan meant more crying than you could stand, go more graduated.
Write it down: bedtime, how long between checks, what happens at each waking and whether there is a night feed. Put it where whoever is up can see it.
Commit to a number of nights up front: decide together how long you will give it before reassessing, then do not renegotiate at 2 a.m.
Track every night: note bedtime, how long until sleep, number of wakes and how long crying lasted.
Keep the sleep space safe while you do it. The American Academy of Pediatrics advises placing your baby on their back for all naps and at night, on a firm, flat surface with a fitted sheet only and nothing else in the crib, and sharing a room but never a bed, ideally for at least the first 6 months.
Does Sleep Training Work, and Is It Safe to Try Again?
Behavioral sleep methods usually help, and the studies we read did not find harm. A 2006 American Academy of Sleep Medicine (AASM) review by Mindell and colleagues looked at 52 studies: 94% reported that behavioral interventions worked, and over 80% of children treated showed clinically significant improvement that lasted 3 to 6 months. The companion AASM practice parameters rated unmodified extinction, extinction with parental presence and preventive parent education as effective (“Standards”), and graduated extinction, bedtime fading with positive routines and scheduled awakenings as effective with less certainty (“Guidelines”). They also found insufficient evidence to favor one method over another.
In the 2016 trial by Gradisar and colleagues in Pediatrics, both graduated extinction and bedtime fading improved sleep compared with a control group. At a 12 month follow-up there were no differences between groups in emotional or behavioral problems or in parent-child attachment. For a deeper look at the evidence, read what the major sleep training studies show.
Age matters too. The trials summarized here enrolled babies 6 to 16 months old. If your baby is younger, talk with your pediatrician about readiness and read when to start sleep training.
How Betteroo Helps When a Plan Stalls
Betteroo builds a sleep plan around your baby’s age, schedule and the way your family wants to respond to crying, then adjusts it when progress stalls instead of leaving you to guess on night 3. Every caregiver sees the same steps, so whoever is up at 2 a.m. does what was agreed.
Stop sleep training and call your pediatrician if you notice any of these:
Fever or signs of illness: a sick baby needs comfort, not a new sleep plan.
Poor feeding or weight concerns: your baby is feeding less than usual, or you have worries about weight or growth.
Vomiting with crying: especially if it keeps happening.
Snoring with breathing pauses: gasping, snorting or pauses in breathing during sleep are signs Texas Children’s Hospital lists for sleep-disordered breathing. For newborns it advises seeing a doctor for difficulty breathing or bluish skin.
Crying that sounds like pain: a cry that sounds different from protest crying, or crying that does not settle when you pick your baby up.
A baby who seems unwell: if your baby just does not seem like themselves, trust that and call.
Your own health counts too. If you are exhausted, low, anxious or having thoughts that scare you, reach out. The National Maternal Mental Health Hotline, run by HRSA, is free and confidential: call or text 1-833-TLC-MAMA (1-833-852-6262), 24/7, in English and Spanish. If your baby has trouble breathing, turns blue, or you or your baby are in danger, call 911.
This guide is general education, not medical advice.
Frequently Asked Questions
Why is my sleep training not working?
The most common reasons are inconsistent responses between caregivers, a bedtime that is too early or too late, hunger or illness, a method that does not fit your baby or family, and no shared written plan. Also, crying often gets worse for a night or two before it improves, which can look like failure.
Is it normal for sleep training to get worse on the second night?
Yes. When you stop the old response, such as feeding or rocking to sleep, many babies protest harder before they adjust. A 2016 review in the journal Children calls this a post-extinction burst and notes parents may think the plan is not working if nobody warned them.
How many nights does it take for sleep training to work?
There is no fixed number. A 2016 review by Blunden and colleagues says extinction methods can require persistence for several nights to weeks. Decide in advance how many nights you will give a plan, stay consistent, and judge the trend rather than one hard night.
Should I give up on sleep training?
Stop and call your pediatrician if your baby seems sick, is feeding poorly, vomits, or cries as if in pain. Otherwise, pausing is fine if your family needs a break. Restart later with one written plan, a fixed schedule and a gentler method if crying was too hard.
Can sleep training harm my baby?
The studies we reviewed did not find harm. A 2016 Pediatrics trial of graduated extinction and bedtime fading found no differences at 12 months in emotional or behavioral problems or in attachment compared with a control group. Always follow safe sleep rules and check with your pediatrician.
What if my baby still wakes at night after sleep training?
Some waking is normal. In a 2015 trial, about 97% of infants in both the support group and the control group still averaged two or more wakes a night on movement monitors, but parents in the support group rated sleep problems as far less severe. Brief wakes your baby settles from alone are fine.
Gentle changes, peaceful nights.
Betteroo builds a personalized sleep plan for your baby or toddler. Take the free two-minute quiz to get started.
Mindell JA, Kuhn B, Lewin DS, Meltzer LJ, Sadeh A. Behavioral treatment of bedtime problems and night wakings in infants and young children. Sleep. 2006;29(10):1263-1276. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/17068979/
Morgenthaler TI, Owens J, Alessi C, et al.; American Academy of Sleep Medicine. Practice parameters for behavioral treatment of bedtime problems and night wakings in infants and young children. Sleep. 2006;29(10):1277-1281. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/17068980/
Blunden S, Etherton H, Hauck Y. Resistance to Cry Intensive Sleep Intervention in Young Children: Are We Ignoring Children’s Cries or Parental Concerns? Children (Basel). 2016;3(2):8. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4934563/
Gradisar M, Jackson K, Spurrier NJ, et al. Behavioral Interventions for Infant Sleep Problems: A Randomized Controlled Trial. Pediatrics. 2016;137(6):e20151486. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/27221288/
Hall WA, Hutton E, Brant RF, et al. A randomized controlled trial of an intervention for infants’ behavioral sleep problems. BMC Pediatrics. 2015;15:181. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26567090/
